I want to fully live. And not hide in the attic.

Personal Column ab how to make something of our lives

I sat down to write.

Like every week, when Sunday is ending a lot quicker than I anticipated.

Like every week, when I suddenly realize the week is almost over, and I want to keep my commitment of publishing weekly.

Like every week, when the need to not fail kicks in, and so does my adhd sensitivity to the urgency of (made up) deadlines - I sat down to write.

‘

Not as peaceful as last week. There’s no bird sounds to describe, no coffee, no forests.

Only chaos, mess, stress, and binaural beats in my headphones as a desperate attempt to block it out.

Before me, a table. Scattered on it papers, pens, everything small hands like to play with for a minute before tossing it away for the next thing.

Around me, moving people, living their lives, taking care of the owners of the small hands.

And undeniably the most present; said small-hand-owners. Running, screaming, asking.

‘

But - everything has lessons (if you want to). Living here, in this filled-to-the-brim, Charlie-and-the-chocolate-factory-family-like house, has made one realization crystal clear: I want to do something with my life, and right now, I’m not doing that.

I want more. I’ve always wanted more.

I want to feel more sunshine on my face. I want to smell more rain.

I want to see more places, meet more people, eat more food.

‘

I want to fully live. And if we’re going to be brutally honest;

Living isn’t hiding in the hot attic because you can’t deal with your nieces and nephews right now, and the only way to get ‘peace’ is pretending you’re taking a nap.

‘

Now the question is; how much are you willing to sacrifice to live a life beyond your wildest dreams?

Are you willing to sacrifice status?

How about closeness to family?

Are you willing to take financial risks?

Live somewhere you’ve never been before?

Are you willing to invest time, every single day, in something that might not yield results?

And how about being honest? Are you willing to face the fact that the only thing stopping you, is you?

‘

On paper, it’s so easy to say ‘yes’ to each one. In reality, it might even be easy to do yes to most.

But if you are not living a life where you never think ‘I want more’, then the truth is.. You are saying ‘no’ to a sacrifice.

As am I.

I know I need to get out of this house (financial risk), I need to invest more time and effort in my (potentially futile) businesses, I need to be more devoted.

‘

And even that part is easy. It’s easy to know where you’re going wrong, but it’s much harder to start going in the right direction.

Yet it’s what we must strive for. Because if you don’t, there’s no chance. If you do, there is. Sometimes a big chance, sometimes so slim it doesn’t even feel like there is one.

But a slim chance is always more than no chance at all.

‘

Because living, truly living (whatever that means to you) is worth the risks.

Because you’re here only once.

Because you want to.

So let’s start doing the things, and taking the risks, we need to. Let’s start improving our chance. Let’s start living.